Pray you never find out how strong you are. Pray you never find out how much you can carry, how much you can bear, how many secrets you can keep. And where you can hide them.
This was pretty much a perfect YA thriller. It had just enough suspense, intrigue, and raw emotion to keep me completely engaged without being over the top. The book starts out simple enough: a girl is in love with her (male) best friend, but is afraid to tell him because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship. She finally has the courage to tell him and then... Enter Ivy, the best friend's desirable, unattainable, and unkeepable ex-girlfriend that he has been hung up on since they broke up months ago. Throw in some drama in the form of misunderstandings, poor teenage decision-making, and emotional hurricanes and that's pretty much this book.
I understood then, just what had happened. We had shared something impossible and unimaginable, dangerous and destructive, shared something no one else on earth would ever truly understand. And right then, against all reason, for one single moment, as I looked at her, the only thing in my head and in my heart was this: You made me feel less alone.
This book is interesting because not only are there multiple perspectives, but they also told from different POVs. Sasha's POV is first person, Xavier's is third person, and the third perspective is also first person. I did wonder why Xavier's was third person when it seemed to delve so much into his consciousness and emotions the way first person perspectives normally do. My thought on it is that it was meant to show how Sasha feels like the burden is all her own, and it emphasizes Sasha's role as the perpetrator (even if it's not true, she wants it to be so she can protect Xavier). I will say none of the characters drew me in in the first couple of chapters, but seeing the way Sasha responded to trauma and guilt really changed that. Xavier was in the dark for most of the novel, but it was good to have his innocent-puppy-dog perspective as a contrast to Sasha. Ivy was intolerable, as I believe she was meant to be; one of those girls all the guys want and all the other girls are like "but why tho". I wish we had gotten more of Gwen's perspective/presence in other people's chapters! Especially in part 1. I think it would've made the twists hit harder, but then again it may have given it away too easily.
So the thing about thriller plots for me is that I willfully don't figure stuff out ahead of time. I don't try to speculate and theorize about twists because I like to be surprised by them. I did not see any of the twists coming in this book and I enjoyed the heck out of it. Even after I realized that the italicized chapters in part 2 are Gwen, not Ivy, I still didn't put it together that that would mean the italicized chapters in part 1 were also Gwen, not Ivy. It seems so obvious after the fact, but I was just in the book. Partially I was distracted by Sasha's intense guilt but also impressive hiding-the-body skills. Another reason the plot/twists just worked really well for me is that the pacing was so good. The plot didn't drag but it still had enough time to let the reader soak into the story. It is honestly just a very satisfying YA thriller.
