August 2020 Wrap Up

I read 11 books in August, with a total of 3747 pages. My average rating was 3.25 which seems low because I really did have some real gems in my 4-star books this month. However, there were also books that were 1 star... which shall not be named (unless you look at #4 on this list). Somehow August was the shortest and longest month--it seems like it was just July yesterday, but I also feel like I finished Clap When You Land forever ago! In other news, I changed my Goodreads goal from 104 books in 2020 (2 books/week) to 125. I'm currently at 102 for the year, and 125 seems like a nice round but still attainable number. Anyhow, here are the books I read in August:

1. Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo

Rating: ★★★★☆ (4.00/5)

This was enjoyable and emotional. It didn't end the way I expected, but I'm not complaining about. The imagery really helped set the atmosphere, and writing in verse helped add to the emotion.

2. House of Salt and Sorrows by Erin A. Craig

Rating: ★★★☆☆ (3.29/5)

The last 25% of this book was so much better than the first 75%... So many things happened in this book that I can't even wrap my head around all of it, which is why it's surprising that the first half the book dragged so much. To be honest, it might have been a bit too busy with all the different components of the plot, but it is still a solid 3 star plot. Characters were solid except of course Camille and the triplets were infuriating most of the time. I really like how this book mixed genres: it was a fantasy standalone revolving around a murder mystery with intense horror moments sprinkled in here and there. This was definitely an interesting and refreshing fantasy story. 

3. Love, Creekwood (Simonverse #3.5) by Becky Albertalli

Rating: ★★☆☆☆ (1.93/5)

I'm actually not mad at the pointlessness of this book like some people were (I mean come on, it's a novella, what were you expecting? Novellas are pretty much the author writing fanfiction of their own book). However, this was a bit cringey. At some times I was really feeling the ship, but most of the time I was just rolling my eyes at how many "I miss yous" there were. Maybe that's just realistic, but the way the characters are portrayed as not being able to be their own person, like they're only interesting and novel-worthy if they are part of a couple, was exhausting. Then with the marriage talk and how the novel ended... I'm just torn because part of me lives for the ship and the other part of me is screaming at how pathetic their codependency is. Just my honest opinion. It was kind of nice to see the kids in college, it just would have been nicer if they had also developed and matured as characters and as people as they got older. 

4. Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ (1.00/5)

This was a hot mess. Read more HERE.

5. Home Before Dark by Riley Sager

Rating: ★★★★☆ (3.57/5)

I saw that plot twist coming from a mile away, but I still enjoyed this! I was constantly very intrigued and wanted to continue reading, and there weren't many times that I was bored. My only other complaint is that some of the things weren't explained at the end, so I still have some questions which leaves me feeling just slightly unsatisfied. 

6. Contagion by Erin Bowman

Rating: ★★★☆☆ (3.07/5)

The plot and the atmosphere in this book made it really pretty enjoyable for me. I can't say I loved it just because some of the characters were insufferable to the point implausibility (I'm looking at you, Dylan). I probably won't be continuing with the series, but if the sequel happens to fall into my hands I might read it. 

7. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

Rating: ★★★★☆ (4.07/5)

I really appreciated what this book did. The premise of the story was really interesting, but the book also executed it really well. Seeing Charlie's growth as a character in both intelligence and emotion was really fascinating. There were many times Charlie stopped to think about the fact that he was a person before the surgery - that he wasn't created by the surgery; he existed before it. On one hand I thought this was a really important metaphor for the struggles that we as the majority put many disabled or other marginalized people through daily - it calls society out on its casual dehumanization of people who are "other" in an almost juvenlian satyrical way. On the other hand, it is disappointing to realize that this is a topic that even still needs to be taught. This is a new favorite classic of mine though, and I highly recommend. 

8. Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender

Rating: ★★★★☆ (3.86)

This book was such a good discussion on queer identity and what it means to be deserving of love. I enjoyed it so much, and this is one of those books that gets better the closer you get to the end. By the last chapter I was so wrapped up in this story, and I loved it. It was a little difficult to get attached to the characters at first, especially when there are so many bad ones introduced (I'm looking at you, Marisol). The book needed those bad ones so that it could call out the bigotry so it made sense, but I wish there was a little bit more resolution between Felix's friend group about Marisol's actions. Then again, that wouldn't be the most realistic ending, and one thing I appreciated about this book was the how realistic it was. Not every single issue gets to be tied up with a neat little bow, and that's okay. Felix was a really compelling character by the end of the novel, and his character growth (in realizing he was deserving of love and that he can't control everything - like the situation with his mom) was amazing. 

9. Starport by George R.R. Martin

Rating: ★★★★☆ (3.5/5)

This was a fun, quick read. I have read very few graphic novels in my life, but I enjoyed this one. The plot was intriguing, if a little predictable. I liked the characters, and I shipped Bobbi and Lyhanne a lot considering how quickly I got through the novel. 

10. The Girl With the Louding Voice by Abi Daré

Rating: ★★★★☆ (4.35/5)

This was equal parts devastating and hopeful, heartbreaking and heartwarming, beautiful and tragic. I truly don't have the words to describe it. Everyone should read this book. The characters--amazing. The writing--phenomenal. The journey--incredible. I am awestruck and dumbfounded. I want a sequel so bad, I have so much hope for Adunni's future, and I am desperate to see what becomes of her. Wow. 

11. The Guest List by Lucy Foley

Rating: ★★★☆☆ (3.07/5)

I would recommend this to people who love loads of twists/connections in their thrillers, and anyone who likes the secluded-setting murder mystery. I understand why people love this book; it just personally wasn't my idea of a 5-star book. Check out my full review HERE.

Review for "The Guest List" by Lucy Foley

Rating: ★★★☆☆ (3.07/5)

I feel pretty indifferent about this book; my reading experience was average for most of it. I ended up giving it 3 stars because I did actually like the twists in it and how everything is connected together. Part of me doesn't really believe it (find it believable), but the bigger part of me likes secret ties and connections too much to care about the lack of logic (extreme plot conveniences) in it.

I didn't like most of the characters, I found most of them bland or stereotypes/cliches so none of them were super compelling to me. Most people like this story because of the atmosphere, which was one of the better aspects of the writing. However, I found the constant flips between now and then to be distracting and not that helpful with setting the tone or building intrigue. I also should just mention I wasn't captivated by most of the plot, I would almost say I was bored and just waiting for something substantial to happen.

I also am disappointed by the ending. It felt very incomplete, both because it ends very abruptly and it feels like none of the characters gets closure at all except maybe Aoife? Like Hannah said, many of them went through things too terrible to heal completely from no matter what happens, but still it would have been nice to know how the story played out afterward. Like what about Johnno? Aoife? It just felt like the last few chapters/plot points were missing. The whole point of an epilogue is to wrap up the book and explain the characters' ending outcomes, and this epilogue did none of that for any of the characters.

I feel like this review is very negative for it being a 3 star book so I want to go back to some of the things I liked. The twists were pretty shocking, and despite me previously saying the plot bored me at points, the twists were what made the plot more good than bad. Also, I did get a feeling of creepiness at all the right moments. When Jules narrates the scene of finding seaweed in the bed I shivered a bit in my seat. I also generally liked the setup of the book - the fact that the whole thing takes place over 24 hours was interesting. I liked the fact that there were so many perspectives, although the fact that one of the main characters doesn't have a perspective chapter until the end of novel is kind of telling about who the bad guy is. Still, there were plenty of twists within that that I didn't see coming.

I would recommend this to people who love loads of twists/connections in their thrillers, and anyone who likes the secluded-setting murder mystery. I understand why people love this book; it just personally wasn't my idea of a 5-star book.

Review for "Conversations with Friends" by Sally Rooney

I kept reading this, wanting it to get better, and it just never did.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ (1.00/5)

I'll preface this with my reason for picking this up in the first place. I had never heard of this book before, it was not even remotely on my radar. The only thing I knew about the author was that she had a wildly popular book last year, Normal People. But look, I'm a huge Taylor Swift fan. If you didn't know, Taylor Swift released her eighth full-length studio album on July 24 of this year. There is one song on the album, illicit affairs, which always reminds me of a book called My Dark Vanessa. Then I heard a rumor that the inspiration for illicit affairs was actually a different book called Conversations with Friends. I'm not sure if that's even true, but I figured if there were similar themes between that song and this book it was worth checking out. After reading the book, I can confirm that the two plotlines are similar, so the rumor may have truth to it. Unfortunately, everything Taylor Swift did right in her songwriting, Sally Rooney did wrong in her novel-writing. 

I disliked every single one of these characters, (except maybe Phillip who is in about 5% of the novel). Not in the way where you dislike a character but can appreciate the realism of their moral grayness, but in the way where they are all just pompous, insufferable bastards. The way Frances and Bobbi would go off on holier-than-thou political tangents was the most pretentious thing I’ve had the displeasure of reading, and it was constant in this novel. 

It was also very difficult for me to empathize with Frances as a protagonist because she was so undeserving of empathy. She sleeps with a married man and is openly hostile to his wife even though she’s the one in the wrong. This book was just the most stereotypical version of an extramarital affair ever - an older married guy with a young woman who believes that he loves her enough to leave his wife for her. It was cringe-inducing to read.

Another thing I hated regarding the characters - it does that thing where all the female characters swear that this guy is sooooo great when all evidence points to the contrary - the man in question being Nick of course. Bobbi and Frances both mention how Nick really is a good person, while at the same time recognizing and accepting the way he is manipulative (that being his habit of being super submissive so he doesn’t have to take any blame - a really common manipulation tactic of abusers especially those who target younger women). Obviously Frances showed poor judgment in a lot of areas, but I still couldn’t help thinking, “what does she SEE in this guy?”

It doesn’t help that the relationships are not well-developed in a show-not-tell manner. We don’t get a feel for Frances and Nick’s relationship because Francis just tells us everything about how she feels about him, rather than the reader getting to experience that firsthand. I guess that’s just a general complaint about the writing - it seemed very monotone. Like Francis was just relaying events instead of living them. The result is reading about a lot of sex and not a lot of feelings.

Having finished this, I just don’t understand what the point of it was. I kept reading, waiting for it to get to the good part, the plot twist, the substantive part of the plot, but there was none. I am shocked at how many people were giving this 4 and 5 stars. 2 stars I understand, even 3 stars. But I just don't see any good in this. It was just this mess of a cheating scandal drawn out into 300 pages. It was not enjoyable and I do not recommend. I'm going to try to not associate this book with illicit affairs, lest it ruin a beautiful song. 

July 2020 Wrap-Up

As my clinicals pick up, I am reading fewer books per month. I anticipated this, and I'm still well ahead of my reading goal for this year, but that means that in lieu of the 16-book months I've been having all year, I read only half as many in July. This month I read 8 books (still not a bad number), with a total of 3,380 pages. This means the average page-count for July was 422 pages/book, which is quite a bit higher than June's average. I have recently started using the CAWPILE method of rating books, and as a result my average ratings from here on out will be a bit lower than normal. This month my average was 3.65 stars. I have rounded the stars under the rating of each book, but include the actual rating in parentheses after the stars. 

1. Beach Read by Emily Henry

Rating: ★★★★☆ (3.50)
I found January a very convincing and relatable narrator, and I enjoyed this book very much. I'm only knocking a star off my rating because it was terribly cliche and predictable (although I suppose that's not completely fair because what happened was exactly what I wanted to happen, no matter how idealistic). On the cliches note, I'm beginning to think "this second time was different. Whereas the first time we were rushed, as if we would run out of time, this time we savored every moment" is the new "I let go a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding".

2. Aurora Burning (The Aurora Cycle #2) by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

Rating: ★★★☆☆ (3.32)
What the heck was that ending??? This book was good, the relationships definitely got more complicated (a good thing in my opinion), and the character development from certain characters was incredible (Aurora, Tyler, Zila). But also, I feel that other characters were overlooked (Finian) or became annoying (Scarlett). I honestly have no feedback on Kaliis, I didn't hate or love his parts of the book.

3. Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Rating: ★★★★☆ (3.86)
Taylor Jenkins Reid is so masterful at weaving together characters and their stories - this was a great read.

4. The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel

Rating: ★★★☆☆ (3.21)
Similar to the author's previous book, this is told in several different perspectives over different timelines with different plots that marginally overlap. This makes the book both more engaging and more confusing. Some characters and plots were really intriguing (Vincent, and the Ponzi scheme plot), while others did not hold my interest at all and I had to wonder why they were even in the book (anything to do with Paul's backstory).

5. The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (The Hunger Games #0) by Suzanne Collins

Rating: ★★★☆☆ (3.00)
This was slow, but not completely unenjoyable. Check out my full review HERE.

6. Twilight (Twilight #1) by Stephenie Meyer

Rating: ★★★★☆ (3.70)

I guess I'm a h*e for sparkly vampires now. 

7. The State of Us by Shaun David Hutchinson

Rating: ★★★★☆ (3.92)

I know a lot of people are calling this a ripoff of RW&RB, but the Romeo-and-Juliet-in-a-modern-setting was never a new idea to begin with. Yes, there are similarities between the two books, but I ended up rating them the same. I actually found this book to be more realistic, and I think the idealism of RW&RB was what made it so popular. Lots of people complained that this book didn't have Dean (the republican candidate's son) immediately flip over to liberal ideals even though they're more moral, but I was able to appreciate Dean's growth more because it wasn't just a flip of a switch. This book is controversial, but just based on my personal enjoyment I gave it 4 stars. I will include a disclaimer that several people of color have reviewed this book with complaints about the Mexican-American representation. I can't speak to though, but feel free to check the reviews on Goodreads in this concerns you.  

8. The One by John Marrs

Rating: ★★★★★ (4.64)

There were so many twists and turns... but none of them felt forced. There were things I noticed where I was like "hmm, that seems a bit too convenient", and then it turned out that it was related to a later plot twist. I really liked the fast pace and alternating perspectives of this book, and the premise overall was just really interesting.

Review for "The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes" by Suzanne Collins

Rating: ★★★☆☆

I actually think this book did Snow's character very well. He is not an enjoyable protagonist to read; he's arrogant, overly ambitious, classist, cruel, narcissistic... but we already knew all that. It was interesting to see how the inner workings of his brain function, especially at such an impressionable age. So no, I didn't *like* Snow as a character, but I appreciated the way he was written, given that it was pretty consistent with his character in the trilogy.

Not all the characters were so great, though. I really liked Sejanus and Lucy Gray, but then all the other side characters were throwaway characters. All of the girls in the story had completely interchangeable personalities, which both made the book more boring and more shallow. Although this may have been a result of Snow's apathy towards other humans. I'm inclined to believe it was just that the characters weren't developed because the story itself isn't even a first person POV (it should've been).

The main reason I give this 3 stars instead of more is because it dragged soooooo much. And I didn't really understand the point of the story. Like... was this supposed to contribute something? That's not being totally fair though because we do get a lot of Hunger Games and Panem history: we learn a lot about the war, the beginning and progression of the games, and the origins of the songs that Katniss sings. But it just felt like the book didn't have a lot of direction, and it dragged painfully.

Review for My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

There is something dark about me. Something that's always been there.



Rating: ★★★★☆

This book is downright difficult to read at times (most of the time/all of the time). It's not a book you're supposed to enjoy, but a book that is supposed to expose you to the complexities of societal expectations and allowances.

I think it was particularly brilliant of the author to tell the story from two timelines. From the beginning, it shows not only the how did we get here?, but also the lasting impact Vanessa's mistreatment had on her. The author was also so good at make the teenage Vanessa sound perfectly naive and indignant, while making the adult Vanessa more mature yet still disturbed in such a way that maintains some of that naïveté. Overall, I found Vanessa's character extremely complex and intriguing and messy, all of which made her more believable and personable.

I was the kind of girl that isn't supposed to exist. One eager to hurl herself into the path of a pedophile. But no, that word isn't right, never has been. It's a cop-out, a lie in the way it's wrong to call me a victim and nothing more. He was never so simple. Neither was I.

It was honestly painful at times to read how Vanessa justified Strane's actions, how she blamed herself, how she insisted their relationship was mutual. It was equally painful to watch Vanessa realize that none of that was true, and that she only believed it because Strane manipulated her into doing so. Saying that makes the plot seem much more simplified that it is, though. Vanessa doesn't just flip her understanding of the situation; it's much more nuanced. While she continually claims that she was wrongfully victimized, over time you can see her start to doubt her role in Strane's crimes, and watching this process drive her insane was at once terrifying and satisfying (not the insane part, just the realization part for the latter).

The fact that this book could make me shudder so much is an testament to its dark, creepy tone. This book is definitely not for everyone, but it makes a lot of necessary commentary on how society views, perpetuates, and deals with victim-blaming and gender dynamics. A lot of people are saying "everyone should read this book" (with the exception of people with relevant triggers) because it has important messages, but I disagree. Yes, I think the book can expose the reader to a darker part of society and the author's own interpretations of pedophilia and lolita, but as I mentioned before, the book is difficult to read. If you're one of those people that claims you don't read to "better yourself", which I normally am, this might not be the right reading choice for you. The book is dark and uncomfortable, so if you're just looking for entertainment, I'd sit this one out.

May 2020 Wrap-Up

I read 16 book this month! (This was my last hurrah before I start my clinicals in June and have zero time for reading.) I read 6588 pages, more than 2000 more than in April, and my average rating was much higher than normal at a solid 4.0. All of these high statistics might be due to the fact that I reread the Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus series this month, which are both easy to fly through and amazing. I did read a number of other books this month though, mainly through audiobook. Without further ado, the books of May 2020:

1. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

Rating: ★★☆☆☆
Yeah no I did not like this. Perhaps it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I knew I wouldn't like this book, and I did not. I didn't hate it, but I was bored. The writing style is not for me. It's a lot of telling of actions that happen. "They went to the hut. The woman was in the hut. They grabbed the woman. The woman yelled." Simple sentences, not captivating. The story did start getting interesting when the missionaries came in, and I feel like that was supposed to be the main plot of the story, but that happened super late in the book. Either there were two plots going on, or there was way too much exposition.

2. Foul Is Fair by Hannah Capin

Rating: ★★★☆☆
WTF was that ending? This book was creepy and dark, which was cool, but nothing was realistic. I appreciated the premise of the book, but I did not buy into any of the characters. Everything was just too easy for the main character, and apparently no adults in this town cares about kids just randomly dying/disappearing.

3. The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #1) by Rick Riordan

Rating: No rating
Yes, in fact, I do have hundreds of books on my TBR that I need to read but instead I am rereading a ten-book MG/YA series. I justify it based on the fact that I never actually finished the series (I only read the first 9 books). So yes, I'm reading this, and I'm loving it. Because this is a reread for me, I will not be rating these book nor putting them into my end-of-the-year ranking of all the books I read in 2020.

4. Sea of Monsters (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #2) by Rick Riordan

Rating: No rating
This book is, in my opinion, the weak link of the series, but I am still very much enjoying my reintroduction into this world.

4. City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert

Rating: ★★★★★
I loved this one. Check out my full review HERE.

5. The Titan's Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #3) by Rick Riordan

Rating: No rating
Nico was such a pure soul, and he turned dark and twisty so fast. I love him.

6. The Battle of the Labyrinth (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #4) by Rick Riordan

Rating: No rating
So, the entirety of this series holds a lot of nostalgia for me, but if I'm think about it objectively, this is the book where the series gets really good. Compared to the first book, you can tell how much better the writing and character development is in the fourth and fifth books of this series.

7. The Wives by Tarryn Fisher

Rating: ★★★★☆
So here’s the thing. I understand why/how this book is problematic. I know that it reinforces harmful social stigmas and stereotypes. However... I still enjoyed it. So it is what it is. Looking back on it, this might deserve only 3 stars, but I'm too lazy to think enough about whether I want to actually change my rating.

8. The Last Olympian (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #5) by Rick Riordan

Rating: No rating
That finale gets me every time. The battle, the redemption arc, the tense romance that's been building since the first book, it's just.. *chef's kiss*

9. Eight Perfect Murders by Peter Swanson

Rating: ★★★★☆
This story grabbed me from the beginning (I mean, what kind of reader doesn't love a story about a fellow avid reader?), and it never really let go. The twist at the ending was really good too, and I like how as the story progresses you question the reliability of the narrator more and more.

10. The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus #1)

Rating: ★★★★★
Out of the ten books in this (Percy Jackson's) world, this book is, to me, the hump. Meaning that this is the book you have to get through for continuity's sake, but on its own it doesn't hold much importance. Still, you can see I enjoyed it very much as I gave it five stars. I just love Percy so much, and I MISS HIM when he's gone. The issue I have, looking back on this book, is that the characters are fake-developed. The characters seem to be built up to be really important, but then in the rest of the series that character development disappears. Case in point: Jason doesn't have a single chapter in the third book. My theory is that Jason only exists as a foil for Percy, which is fine, but I wish that he hadn't been presented as the new/Roman Percy Jackson when he was just going to fall into the background in two books' time.

11. The Honey-Don't List by Christina Lauren

Rating: ★★★★☆
This was real cute, and it rekindled my love for HGTV. Check out my review HERE.

12. The Son of Neptune (Heroes of Olympus #2) by Rick Riordan

Rating: ★★★★★
I LOVE PERCY JACKSON!!!!

13. The Mark of Athena (Heroes of Olympus #3) by Rick Riordan

Rating: ★★★★☆
That ending gets me SHOOK every single time. Also, and I can't stress this enough, Percy and Annabeth are my OTP. Still, for some reason (which may very well be my own life and things going on outside of reading), I did not devour this one quite as enthusiastically as the last seven books, except for the last 50-100 pages of course.

14. A Heart So Fierce and Broken (Cursebreakers #2) by Brigid Kemmerer.

Rating: ★★★★☆
I normally don't like it when authors switch up who the main characters are in between books in a series, but I must say I really enjoyed this. I think I like Grey and Lia Mara, as people and as characters, even more than Harper and Rhen. The next book will be interesting because we will see both Rhen/Harper and Grey/Lia Mara as the enemy and the good guys. I read the first book when it came out, so I wasn't expecting to jump right back into this and be really entertained, but I was.

15. The Gravity of Us by Phil Stamper

Rating: ★★★☆☆
This really could've been 2 or 3 stars, but I'm feeling generous. The romance in this book was... so cringey, so cliche, so instalovey... I was truly appalled. The thing is, I don't actually think the book is bad other than the romance. The premise was interesting, and I liked the themes on family, fame, and learning to be okay with not being okay. The unfortunate thing is that a large portion of the book is about the romance. I actually did like Cal and Leon together by the end of the book, I just wish the way they'd first gotten together didn't make me wince so much at the corny awkwardness. It is disappointing though because I was really hyped for this book, and it just did not live up to my expectations.

16. The House of Hades (Heroes of Olympus #4) by Rick Riordan

Rating: ★★★★★
The ending... so beautiful... so sad... this series is ruining my life. Chapters 29-32, 36, 45, 52, 54, 57, 67-68, 70-71, and 78 were some of my faves though.